Digital Speed

Thinking the Lions Blog

2008-12-19T08:10:00.002-06:00

I was strolling through the internet on day, and ran across the Thinking the Lions blog. (Is strolling possible in cyberspace? Perhaps this is indicative of a slow internet connection. Anyhoo, moving on.)

Thinking the lions is an interesting blog. The writer is an awesome god among mortals. I'm getting a divorce. Are you paying attention?

All right, I cannot vouch for the whole blog, as I haven't actually read the whole thing. But if you get a moment, at least check this article out.
http://www.thinkingthelions.com/2008/12/rebellious-youth-without-girlfriends.html

And if you do have a lot of time on your hands, read the whole blog.

Lesbian Zombie Blogging

2008-12-19T08:06:00.002-06:00

First response after writing the title of the blog post, "Huh?" It sounds really silly.

Run by http://lesbianzombies.blogspot.com/ sometime. It's part random blogging, part original take on the zombie invasion. And I can never do with too little info on the zombie invasion. A bunch of girl crazy chicks go brain crazy. What's not to like?

Shady Library Looms

2008-12-19T08:05:00.001-06:00

I really ought to dump another load into the Shady Library. Waiting until the end of the month is a bad habit.

Here's what I'll do. I'll load up December, and then first thing in January, BAM! You won't know what hit you.

Santa's Lap, a video feed

2008-12-18T16:57:00.001-06:00

Well, here's a fun experience I had. got a wish

I was recently invited (very recently, meaning about five minutes ago) to look at a digital photo frame.

I've known about these frames for a while, I even know a few people that have them on their desks at work. The digital frame "that I just have to see from their website, right now, becuase it's frakin awesome, that's why" was from CEIVA.

The frame CEIVA offers isn't that different from any of the others I've seen. It has a memory to store digital photos, and will cyle through the list until it reaches the end, and then show the same photos some more. Not bad, if you're into accidentally showing of your "interesting" photos and getting fired on account of your boss not being that open minded.

However, their website experience is VERY unique. Going to their site gets you a video from "Santa's Workshop". An elf and Santa talk about the upcoming holidays, and give you an oportunity to upload a photo of your own to see what it would look like on the CEIVA Digital Photo Frame.

I was impressed with the technology behind the video. They incorporate your name, what you want for Christmas, and even show your photo several times in the video. I would buy the CEIVA Frame, if only because I was that impressed with their website.

Also, just a cherry on the top, running through the video can get you entered in a $500 drawing. Just think how many CEIVA Digital Frames that would get you.

Try it out yourself. Seriously, it was fun. http://www.sitonsantaslap.com/?utm_source=b

New Find on the Internet

2008-12-18T15:13:00.006-06:00

Here's an interesting site. "Find.com"

Find.com Search Engine

Simple enough, I guess. Find.com is half Google ads and half search results. It's beauty lies in its URL simplicity.

Check this out, I searched for "Bad Boys" on a handful of search engines, and find.com was by far the most straight-forward.

Here's some URL samples that will change your perspective.
http://find.com/bad_boys
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=bad+boys&btnG=Google+Search&aq=f&oq=
http://www.ask.com/web?q=bad+boys&search=search&qsrc=0&o=0&l=dir

I'm not ready to say that this is a complete search revolution, merely based on URL size. There may also be some speed optimization on their very near schedule.

However, this is almost the Tinyurl of all search engines. Don't be surprised if this site gets big.

The beauty of TinyURL was the ability to give a very small number of digits to a friend, and have them be able to go to an impossible-to-memorize internet location. With find.com, you can easily type in your search directly from the address bar. Want to look up ducks? Just type in find.com/ducks. Using a search engine as user friendly as Google would introduce unecessary steps. That is, "Type URL" -> "Type search". Find.com is as simple as just, "Type URL".

That's okay by me. Anything I can use that will speed up my internet life, I'll take.

Find People
Find Jobs
Find Friend

Carly at Confoozled

2008-12-18T14:51:00.003-06:00

http://www.confoozled.com

The author there is chill and prolific. She fully embraces her blissful insanity, like a Buddhist Ted Bundy, she is charming and disarming all in the same breath.

She's all over the place, and you either heard it here first (in which case you are fully excited to hear the new hype), or you've already been there, and you can confirm the news yourself.

Either way, just check her out. She's a caustic family-centered human being. What's not to like?

Yeah, http://www.confoozled.com you know you're going there next.

My very own hell

2008-12-10T10:53:00.001-06:00

Rednecks
Circle I Limbo

Oakland Raider Fans
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

PETA Members
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Republicans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

General asshats
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Scientologists
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

George Bush
Circle VII Burning Sands

Saddam Hussein
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Creationists
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Writing your heart out

2008-11-17T10:04:00.002-06:00

How do you write your heart out when you have no privacy. How do you expose your heart to the world when the world will eat it still beating?

I'll try not to be too emo and just say that I will simply have to suffer the fate of the Aztecs and offer up my heart to the world, in the hopes that they will treat it kindly.

Hitchens vs Wolpe

2008-11-07T15:03:00.002-06:00

A new verbal combat has been provided on YouTube featuring the vocabulary superstar Christopher Hitchens! Seriously, even if I didn't agree with a single word he says, his use of the English language is both entertaining and intellectually stimulating.

Also, he's got an awesome accent.

Uploading to Shady Library: after

2008-10-31T14:22:00.003-05:00

Wow, I'm pretty sure nobody appreciates the work that I just put into the Shady Library just now. I put up 66 entries, and there were 19 clicks of my mouse for each one. That's assuming that I didn't go all zombie and click somewhere I shouldn't have on accident.

That's, hold on... 1254 CLICKS!!!! Just for a lousy library that doesn't even earn any money at all.

I'm just kidding, I know it's all worth it.

Peace.

Uploading to Shady Library, before

2008-10-31T10:53:00.002-05:00

I have a very big stash problem. I swear I'm worse than a pack rat. I have files everywhere.

I have DVD-Rs full of movies, books, music, pictures. DVD-Rs, people. I cannot possibly keep track of all this media. Ugh, moving up a crud to the Shady Library right now.

Uploading to Shady Library

2008-10-12T11:17:00.002-05:00

I am pretty exhausted. I uploaded 58 new entries to the Shady Library today. These entires were mostly R.A.Salvatore and Alan Dean Foster, with a few random books thrown in here and there. I also put in a few encyclopedias I had lying around on my hard drive.

After a few dozen entries in the Shady Library, I just started getting cranky. And then, at the 50 entry mark, Blogger started making me enter a "Prove Me Human" validation code.

Ugh, I hope somebody out there appreciates what I go through for their free fiction.

High on PurpleSlinky.com

2008-09-15T07:27:00.000-05:00

The Muse has struck.

Wow, I am really pleased with the turnout on my article for PurpleSlinky. I have more than thirty thousand views on an article I wrote about five weeks ago. http://www.purpleslinky.com/Offbeat/Seven-Things-I-Never-Knew-About-French-Kissing.192305

Yeah, I'm punched out. I'm super high on this one. We wow.

I also put up a mind map for the projects I'm working on. You can view it yourself at clsfdkidd.googlehacksx.com.

Sweet mother of Zeus, I love my life.

Legend of the Seeker

2008-08-29T12:09:00.001-05:00

Holy crap, I now have a bladder and bowel control problem. For any of you that are still out of the loop, go check out http://www.legendoftheseeker.com

NOW!

New Goals for September

2008-08-28T08:33:00.002-05:00

I need to restart my life. Most depressed people may either try to "restart" through an overdose and rebirth, or medicate themselves so that they no longer feel the urge. I think I'll do it completely sober, and attempt to be as non-suicidal as possible.

First, I need to identify to aspects of my life that I am not pleased with.

I waste a lot of time watching movies.
I waste a lot of time playing video games.
I don't write enough. I think my creative juices have gone stagnant, and that is a miserable feeling, my friend.
I don't create the web projects that I have lined up. I just let them sit there, all lined up and waiting to be worked on.
I don't have enough users signed up for the Google Hacks X Toolbar
I don't have LabRat completed. (An enormous project!)
I don't know how to play the piano.

Now, I need to set some goals that will eliminate these "problem places", and set me on the path that I really want to be.

Goals for September, 2008

Absolutely no video games. This may make me either go insane, or get my creative juices flowing again. Hopefully, I know what I'm doing.
Either write 1000 words, work on a web project, or work on LabRat.
Upload new entries to the Shady Library.
Do not watch any movies until BOTH 2 and 3 have been completed for the day.

That should take care of a lot of it, maybe sometime I'll squeeze in learning the piano.

A day in the life of Criss Angel

2008-08-11T08:04:00.003-05:00

I was making my daily rounds of a bunch illegal downloading sites, when I came across this jewel. Apparently, Criss Angel has a TV show (duh), and does some crazy magic stuff every episode (double duh). That aside, try to read this episode synopsis like you were reading this out of a newspaper.

Criss attempts to catch a razor sharp arrow in his bare hands after it is shot from a nail gun at 1400 feet per second. Then, while on a tour of a warehouse, Criss cuts through a fans arm with a jigsaw blade. At a park, Criss’ crew is late for a football game and so he makes 2 players appear from thin air and then makes a football levitate during a perfect pass.
http://www.fastpasstv.com/criss-angel-mindfreak-4x04/

That is just insane. Pretend that this is not an optical illusions performer, but rather an ordinary citizen. So this freaked out dude gets shot at by an arrow, and catches it in his hand. "Yeah, I'm awesome." Then he's walkin' in some squatter's warehouse, and hacks off a buddy's hand with an electrical reciprocating saw. "Uh, oops. Sorry bro." Oh no! He's late for a football game with his homies, they're 3rd and 10 and down by 7! With a pikachu-like swish of his hand, he makes some extra teammates materialize and floats the football serenely to the wide-receiver with his yoda-jedi mind powers. "WTF! I'm h4xing the server! N00b$!! HAHAHHAAHA!"

Man, it all sounds like Criss is the ultimate shorthand-for-Richard. If you don't know the shorthand for Richard, I guess you aren't going to the H-E-double-hockey sticks.

French Kissing, CENSORED

2008-08-05T09:20:00.004-05:00

I went in and hacked my article on french kissing. I took out all the really "good" bits, and now it is but a shadow of its former glory. I still think it's smashing great, but I am a little miffed that I couldn't say the S-word, even though it was absolutely necessary for the perfect story.

I now know why comedians like using foul language. It has a sort a shock value that can be expressed in a very few number of words. Hopefully, I will be able to express myself powerfully without needing to rely on those naughty words. Apparently, I won't get published, otherwise.

Here's the letter from Triond, accepting my revised work (YAY!), and check out the article at http://www.purpleslinky.com/Offbeat/Seven-Things-I-Never-Knew-About-French-Kissing.192305

Shady Library Videos

2008-08-01T12:31:00.001-05:00

A few days ago I posted five tutorial videos to both Youtube and Revver. These are the first videos that cover the Shady Library, and how the passwords are stored on the Google Hacks X Toolbar. I guess that the Shady Library project is officially open!

Just today, The first day of August, I put up two books by Tom Clancy. The Hunt for Red October, and Patriot Games have been added to the Shady Library. Hip, hip, hooray!

Now, on to Arthur C. Clarke. I have a couple dozen of his books, and should put them up over the course of the weekend.

Happy Friday, everyone.

Pornographic, Vulgar, or Obscene

2008-07-30T09:18:00.004-05:00

This is something new. I've never been accused of being vulgar before. I pride myself on my lack of name-calling, so when someone says that my work is too pornographic, vulgar, or obscene for their tastes, I certainly pay attention.

I tried to submit an article titled, "Seven Things I Never Knew About French Kissing", to the publishing website Triond. They sent back this charming letter...
Surely, I'm not that interesting!

Republican's outrageous spending

2008-07-19T08:09:00.001-05:00

Moving ShadyLibrary to GoogleHacksX

2008-07-09T08:30:00.003-05:00

Hey all,

I've discovered the virtue that is the custom domain on a blogger account.

I am unable to set the blogger CNAME on googlehacksx.com, since my hosting account actually owns my domain. I sent them a support ticket yesterday, requesting their help, and they've already got it up and registered. Praise be to Allah!

So, I'm going to go ahead and redirect the shadylibrary blogger account to shadylibrary.googlehacksx.com. I think it will go down for a while, like maybe a day or so. Lady Luck be with me!

I know in my heart, that if I trust in Jesus, and have enough faith in the internet, God will bless me. Amen.

Burger King is Awesome

2008-07-07T08:27:00.003-05:00

I was on an errand again, and just had to stop for a bacon cheeseburger. Bacon cheeseburgers are God's proof that he loves us and wants us to be obese Americans. I neither want to argue with God nor my stomach, so I will go where advertisements will me.

Burger King is obviously the King of Burgers, and I once had an actually awesome burger there once. One good out of seven total means I have good (okay) odds of having another good experience.

So, I whip in to the King's place, walk in cause I hate drive-throughs, and I say quote, "I just want a bacon cheeseburger." The manager mics in, "Bacon cheeseburger."

Everything was going smooth as a Janet Jackson concert, until this chick says, "We don't serve lunch right now." I actually responded with a almost inaudible, "Oh, God." I think that was the first time I swore in public with an audience. I looked at all of their egg sandwiches, and finally decided to get a "wrap". This is actually a breakfast burrito, but they hate using names that real people use, so I had to get a "wrap".

I almost threw a fit, almost tried to reason with their stupidity, to ask them if they had ever had a burger for breakfast, and was it not the most spectacular breakfast they had ever had? But then I couldn't do all of this, and possibly ruin their minimum-wage day, because I suddenly realized that the chick was HOT. Not plastic hot, but real, human being hot. Like, OMG, my brain just turned off. This was like "McDonalds Girl", only in Burger King.

She had short, boring, dark brown hair. She did not have a ridiculous plastic body. She was actually bored. And she was really cool. I would have gladly cut off my right arm and worked in the burger place as an amputee, if it weren't for the social pressures and the sudden cardiac arrest I found myself in. Granted, she was working right next to three women who were exploring expansive waist lines.

I had walked in for a bacon cheeseburger, and stumbled out grasping a burrito, and very confused. Burger King is Awesome!

Dude, do you have a Slim Jim?

2008-07-05T12:07:00.002-05:00

Today, I got locked out of my car. Oh wait, it wasn't a car, it was a van. And it wasn't mine.

You know those sort of "borrows" where you didn't actually ask for the lend? But if you return it before they miss it, it's okay? This was one of those situations. If I didn't get the heck out of dodge, I would roast. The sort of roast where I don't get to blog anymore, cause my hands are broken.

I had pulled into a Pilot Travel Center to get an energy drink, and I locked the van doors. I made absolute sure that I had the keys in my pocket, so I would do something stupid like, I don't know, get locked out.

I got the drink, walked back to the van, and the key didn't work. It was the right key, the one I had just used to drive to the Travel Center, but it didn't work on the doors. What kind of effing vehicle has two sets of keys? What kind of Gorram Pit had I found myself in? If God was paying attention right then, I'm sure he had brought popcorn.

My knees hit the asphalt, and then my palms. I started to hyperventilate, raised my face towards the sky, opened my arms wide, and screamed.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

[ 30 sec commercial break ]

"... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!" (okay, not that part)

I asked everybody there if they had a Slim Jim. 5 truckers, 6 car drivers, the guy that ran the Taco Bell, 2 Travel Center clerks, 1 on-duty security officer, and zero Slim Jims. They did not carry them in the store. I ran over to the Travel Center shop. They did not have a Slim Jim.

WTF! (Why That's Funny!)

I asked the dude that was still selling fireworks in the tent next to the parking lot. He did not have a Slim Jim. I ran back to the Travel Center, poked around in their showers and Laundromats for a hanger, and even went back into their maintenance section where I get arrested if they find me back there, but no hangers.

One of the Travel Center clerks went above and beyond the call of duty, actually went through all the shirts they sell, and found an un-used shirt hanger for me. Darwin bless her!

I had no idea how to use the hanger to unlock the van, short of breaking a window, and reaching in with the hanger to scratch my name on the wall of the van.

The firework selling dude came over to help me, didn't know how to help, but suggested to O-Reilly's I had completely missed a block away. Jeepers! Zeus bless him!

I ran over to the O-Reilly's, and they did not have a Slim Jim I could borrow, but they would exchange one for my first born child. I happily agreed, and ran back to the Travel Center with a brand new Slim Jim.

5 minutes later, with the aid of a Slim Jim, a hanger, and, again, the aid of the firework selling dude (Jupiter bless him!), I was on my way. I have a new respect for the friendliness and willingness-to-help of humanity, but am also disappointed that none of them have Slim Jims.

The Character of Jesus

2008-06-29T12:46:00.002-05:00

First, before we can discover the character of Jesus, we must study his remarkable parentage.

Mary: Mary was a Hebrew girl, commonly regarded as a teenager during the Immaculate Conception. She was undoubtedly Human, although there are several other, contradictory clues. She is revered by many millions as a Symbol of Hope (possibly Draenei), she was smokin' hot (possibly Night Elf), and she was a virgin (possibly Gnome or Dwarf). However, I believe her humanity has never been questioned, and without further ado, we will say that she was Human.

God: God was amazingly the father of Jesus. Since Jesus' teachings show how all men should be loved, and God is the creator of all creatures, it is not impossible that He was Horde. Of the possible choices for the race of God, Horde Races (IMO) show the most promise.

Undead seems very fitting, since they will just not stay dead. By the time Undead are active players, they have been resurrected several times.
Trolls are extremely spiritual creatures, and it seems like they show the proper respect towards religion.
Tuaren are already worshipped by over a billion Hindus, and are an excellent candidate for the race of God.

On the other hand, Orcs don't have much going for them, aside from God's occasional use of Blood Fury. God has also proven time and time again that he is both homophobic, and definitely not gay, so the Blood Elves are out as well. In the end, although there is not much data to go on, it looks like God was Undead.

The traits of Jesus:
Jesus was a mage. Jesus' first miracle was creating drinks for his friends. He also summoned immense quantities of bread and fish to feed thousands. (Note: Since not even Mages can summon fish, it is assumed he had skilled up the Fishing profession.) Jesus also on one occasion teleported to an exceedingly high mountain, and then immediately, without any discernible cooldown, teleported to the roof of the Temple. These skills certainly display someone with Mage powers.

Jesus was a priest. He could heal the sick, could get rid of bleed effects, and also cleanse diseases. (Note: He had apparently specced into the Discipline tree, since he had on multiple occasions, reportedly, infused his friends with Divine Spirit.) He could also resurrect people from the dead. One time, his friend Lazarus couldn't find his body on a ghost run, so Jesus resurrected him after several very disappointing days. It is rumored that Lazarus was soon kicked out of the guild. Jesus could also walk on water. There is a hilarious anecdote about how He and his disciple Peter, (also a priest) went out together across the sea of Galilee, and Peter ran out of light feathers! What a newb!

Jesus was a warlock. He could control demons, and once unleashed an uncountable number of them at a herd of pigs. He also had a number of curses at his disposal. When a treant would not give him some figs, he put a DOT on the sucker that would simply not go away.

Jesus was a warrior. The way he could walk into a room and get immediate agro from all the Pharisees, surely suggest that he was a warrior. His piercing howl was formidable, at one point clearing the Temple of the moneychangers, although they unfortunately all brought adds. (Note: Jesus did not seem to take advantage of plate. He never wore anything tougher than cloth armor.)

It does not seem that Jesus possessed any traits of the Paladin, Shaman, Hunter, or Rogue classes. Granted, John the Baptist made a kick-butt Druid. (Note: There is an exception with the Palladin, knowing that on some, future, splendid day, He will place a judgement on each and every one of us. Another exception is the Shaman, since Jesus did a Self-Resurrect. This was after Judas, a rogue, hit him with an Premeditation-Ambush-Backstab combo.)

Conclusion: Jesus was an Alliance-Horde hybrid. He was a human-undead, mage-priest-warlock-warrior with a skilled up Fishing profession. He could heal, tank, DOT, and DPS without breaking a sweat. Holy Snot, my God is way better than your God. What can your God do?

God is Angry

2008-06-28T13:22:00.002-05:00

This post is specifically for those who believe we (elect humans) become Gods after death.

Logic Rant:

We live forever in joy when we reach heaven, basking in the glory of God.
God is angry with the wicked, and offers endless blessings to the righteous.
In heaven, we become Gods ourselves, taking care of (among other things) the remaining children still on earth in mortality.

If all three points are correct, we must then assume that rules that apply to us, also apply to God. Also, vice verse. Not only does God live forever in joy, but it is also one of our traits that we are angry with the wicked, and offer blessings to the righteous. What is said about God applies to the righteous dead as well. This also means that God can be both in a state of joy, and in a state of unbridled fury towards the wicked.

Thus, one of the following must be true:

The universe has imploded due to this paradox.
Someone needs to rewrite the scriptures so they make sense.
God is happy being angry, and so can you!

Restricted data on the Shady Library

2008-06-12T14:52:00.002-05:00

The Shady Library project has officially commenced. I have been learning a lot about copyrights, and certian hosting company's policies. I had my first brush with automated "copyright police" today, as I was posting my collection of Dune books by Frank Herbert.

It turns out that MediaFire is a lot more intelligent than I've given them credit for, and they scanned my pdfs as I uploaded them. The pdfs got the "BAD BOY" sticker, so I had to upload them using a little cleverness. I finally got them to be publicly available by stuffing each book in its own zip folder. It doesn't look like MediaFire scans the contents of zips, so I should be okay.

Have fun with the content!

Genesis, by Terry Pratchett

2008-06-04T10:09:00.004-05:00

I shall have to remember a quote from Terry Pratchett, "In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded."

This is one of the coolest things I have ever read, and my estimation of the man just jumped from "A doddering fantasy writer", to "An inestimably clever and intelligent doddering fantasy writer". I now have a feeling of profound guilt for never reading any of his books. Who knows what jewels I have missed?

Party Time Test

2008-05-23T10:29:00.000-05:00

What type of partier are you? Your Result: Bar Social Butterfly Not quite as bad as the 'bar slut', you like to get a bit ripped and become everyone's new best freind. You talk to everyone and anyone, keep people laughing, and with enough liquor you become the professional comedian. You get into deep-thought topics with fellow drunks, get people crying on your shoulder when they vent to you, and end up with hundreds of phone numbers of people that you simply can't recall in your cell-phone all the time.
Hardcore drunk
The Lurker
Bar Slut
The Socialite
The rock-star party animal
The designated driver
What type of partier are you? Make Your Own Quiz

Presidential Candidate Test

2008-05-23T10:22:00.002-05:00

Ummm, all this time I thought I was a racist! What happened to my black hating skills?

81% Barack Obama
80% Dennis Kucinich
80% Chris Dodd
79% John Edwards
78% Mike Gravel
76% Bill Richardson
75% Hillary Clinton
73% Joe Biden
50% Rudy Giuliani
41% John McCain
34% Mike Huckabee
34% Mitt Romney
33% Ron Paul
27% Tom Tancredo
25% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Am I insane? Shocking New Test...

2008-05-23T10:13:00.001-05:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

Loving IE7, Part 2

2008-05-21T14:21:00.003-05:00

I stand corrected from my earlier post. THIS is really the reason I love IE7! I just had to close my very sluggish session with Microsoft's little pet, and behold, it would not even lay down and die. I had to cleanse it the old fashioned way, with garlic, an oak stake, and the task manager.

Now, I know my robots

2008-05-20T09:36:00.001-05:00

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

ME IS ON SPEED!

2008-05-20T09:29:00.000-05:00

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

Yo-yos and the end of the world.

2008-05-19T15:06:00.005-05:00

I watched a completely wicked yo-yo video, and I would have blogged about that, but some guy wrote an even better post below it, so I'm really torn here. How about I blog about both?

The wicked vid.

The even awesomer post about the end of the world... found on the same page.

Posted by: Digital 1 days ago
if the 2012 thing freaks you out you're a moron. idiots have been doomsaying every year since we thought up the end of the world. Every year someone says the world is ending, sells a book, and laughs as the timer runs out. If you even BLINK about 2012 you're part of the crop that they are feeding from, and I laugh at you. Try looking up 'rapture' or 'apocolypse' or even 'end of the world' and throw a year on the end of it. 2007 was a good one, lot of books sold by that woman (she did say 'whoops' on January 1st) Every, Year. You keep falling for it, I keep laughing. Live your lives sheep, if you are so eager for it to end take your own lives and leave the rest of us in peace.

You sir, Mr. Digital, are a genious, a gentleman, and a scholar. Please win a Nobel peace prize some day.

Tech for Non-Techies

2008-05-16T10:13:00.003-05:00

Here's a pretty cool discovery... Frank Mueller has started a blog on how to look like a computer genius for all of us people with walnut brains. If you feel that you are personally alergic to the "view source" option on your browser, Mueller will hold your hand and make sure you don't have to know what you're doing, but you can still "get it done".

The blog is Tech for Non-Techies, or http://nontechnamaste.blogspot.com/. It has some pretty awesome articles, and when he doesn't write the content himself, he still provides some very decent links across the interwebs. Know-how is his game, and with his help, you can figure out how to do some neat stuff with your computer.

The blog is relatively new, it only has posts in May and April. However, if it keeps going like this, now would be the time to sign up for his feed. You don't want to miss out on anything juicy.

Keep it up, Frank!

This is why I love IE7

2008-05-15T19:06:00.003-05:00

Awesome Memory Usage

Download Heroes Episodes

2008-05-14T08:53:00.001-05:00

Google Hacks X

2008-05-07T08:32:00.002-05:00

Google Hacks X is a toolbar with several pre-built searches.

What you do is decide on a search like "MP3 Music Search". Then you enter a song you want, or even a band name. The toolbar automatically searches the internet for any idiots that left their documents unsecured. (There's quite a few of them out there.) Voila! You are now a pirate!

Check out the toolbar right away!

Pepsi Gang Fight

2008-05-02T14:50:00.003-05:00

I'm trying out mediafire's service by hosting one of my favorite images, the "Pepsi Gang Fight"!

Driving on Water

2008-05-01T08:36:00.003-05:00

Here's video that will challenge your perspective on hydroplaning. This guy drives his dune buggy across a lake. Definitely check it out.

http://www.metacafe.co.il/watch/763279/driving_on_water/

Archit's life loving blog

2008-04-30T10:21:00.002-05:00

Archit Tantia (an Indian blogger) asked me to give an honest review of his blog, http://blog.archit.in/. I think it would be rude to be dishonest at all, so here goes.

If I was an Indian, I would probably wonder why it was written in English. If I was American, I would probably wonder why I'm reading an Indian blog. So no matter how you slice it, Archit's blog falls somewhere in-between hemispheres.

However, that is apparently its beauty.

If I was an Indian, trying to cross the gap between my Indian Heritage and the Western World, I can see why I would daily read the juicy bits Archit provides. Likewise, if I was a man firmly grounded in the Western World, and wanted an honest look at what India thinks of the same products I see.

Caffeine in Powder Form

2008-04-30T08:37:00.005-05:00

I want to show you an awesome picture and some text I stole from United Nuclear. This is a bottle of solid Caffeine. As they say all over the bottle, this nervous stimulant can be quickly fatal. Recommended for extremely small doses (low milligrams) for yourself, or you can completely load up your pet hamster. I know what I'm doing with it as soon as it gets shipped.

"Caffeine is an alkaloid that's found in numerous plant species where it acts as a natural pesticide that paralyzes and kills certain insects. In Humans, Caffeine is a central nervous system and metabolic stimulant in small milligram quantities, however, ingestion of only slightly larger amounts can be fatal. This material is for experimental purposes only and not to be added to food or drink products."

Woo HOO! Go United Nuclear!

Paying for Posting

2008-04-29T20:12:00.003-05:00

Just today, I signed up for a payperpost account.

There is nothing unusual about the site, and the name pretty much says it all. Sell your intellectual soul for some quick candy. What's not to like? Welcome to the marketplace of opinions.

In truth, they don't actually pay that much. Most of the blog post offers I've seen are $6-10, although there are a few low double digits as well. This is not the filthy rich scheme you have been praying for. Whatever reason I have for this affiliation, it's certainly not going to be because it's lucrative.

The real reason I liked the idea of "working" for these guys, was for brain gain. Yeah, I honestly felt like I was running out of spaggetti juice. Writing about my own life could be very fascinating, (and it is!) but I think I'm too honest or modest to really think of myself that way for too long.

I know I'm not that good of a writer, compared to the novelists I read. So maybe signing with this crew is exactly the sort of kick in the seat I need to buckle down and hone my skills. This is sort of a warning to you people, you may just see a post about raising dogs!

My Haunted Cup of Water

2008-04-26T15:22:00.002-05:00

I have a large cup that I drink out of. This cup is not a normal cup. This cup is haunted.

When I get close to the bottom of my dark, plastic cup, I can see myself reflected in the bottom. I can only see myself when I tip the cup up, and water still covers the base. Before the water runs down, I see a part of my face looking back at me. It is only my nose to my forehead, but that iconic image, of a half of a face, is exactly what the Blair Witch kid looks like.

The shading is perfect, the image is perfect. When I take that last drink, I see a kid in a national state park, running for his life.

Awesome 360 Videos

2008-04-24T10:17:00.003-05:00

Kudos to the crew of CornFlex. I actually felt like cursing while watching their demo. Not like, holy [bleep], I'm screwed, but like holy [bleep], that's one of the best ideas I've seen implemented.

Sweet Camera Demonstration

They film the entire world in 360, which is not new. But they let you flip the view around WHILE THE VIDEO IS PLAYING. Holy [BLEEP]!

Justin Long is a Mac Traitor

2008-04-24T09:57:00.002-05:00

This is one of the coolest articles I have ever read.

I am a huge PC guy, and have probably spent at least 40% of my waking life on a PC. I code on a PC. I code for PCs. In the Mac perspective, I have spent maybe 3 to 5 hours total, browsing and messing around on someone else's box, so I probably haven't given Apple a fair shot.

However, it turns out that Justin Long has had lots of experience with Mac. He's done a lot of cool Mac commercials, which I happily watch on my PC. He's also a hilarious actor, but I digress.

Justin, the Mac king, (or prince, taking into consideration Steve Jobs) has purchased a PC.

I won't ruin it any more than I already have. You must read the article for yourself.

Apple's Mac Guy is a 'Closet PC' User.

The M&M Face Smack

2008-04-22T14:12:00.003-05:00

Who thinks the way we eat M&Ms is strange?

First, we get a sealed plastic bag of M&Ms from the store. We rip off a corner, so that most of the bag is intact, but if the bag gets tipped, the M&Ms come out pouring just where we want them. Then, we either pour some M&Ms into a bowl, or directly into an open palm. If we poured them into a bowl, then we just scoop some up into our hand later, so the bowl is an almost unnecessary step.

Now, we have some M&Ms in our hand. Some people will use their other hand to drop one M&M at a time into their mouth. However, most of the planet's humanoids will take their handful of M&M's, and smack their face with it.

I'm not joking. They honestly hit their face with a handful of M&Ms.

The inertia from the trip of mid-waist level to face level will fling the contents of the hand to the back of the mouth, resulting in M&M joy.

Is there any other creature on earth that hits their face with a handful of food?

Poem: Life is but a flower

2008-04-22T12:51:00.001-05:00

Life is but a flower,
A blade of grass.
A browning leaf,
The frozen cold.

Cracking the PayPal Lockbox

2008-04-18T14:35:00.002-05:00

How do you get your money from PayPal? I'm sure a lot of you out there have asked yourselves this very question.

PayPal is very easy to set up. You just ask them for an account, give them your email address, and you have a place online to put money. The funny part is, you can only PUT money there, you can't take any money out. Haha, very clever!

That is, until you get verified. Yes, a verified PayPal account. [sigh... wistful glance at the ceiling] Getting a PayPal account verified has been less fun than getting my head stepped on by a horse. You need a credit card or a bank account, and I haven't bothered with either. I've restricted myself to a debt-free, strictly cash mentality, something that anyone in the mafia would be proud of.

You can get a Virtual Credit Card, and verify PayPal with that. Unfortunately, to fund the credit card, you something like an e-gold.com account. A really good way to fund the e-gold.com account is with PayPal, but guess what? It's locked! This looks a lot like square one.

I ended up getting a no minimum-balance MyAccess checking account from Bank of America. I guess I've taken the first step to being a normal citizen.

LOTR, Day something or other

2008-04-18T13:18:00.004-05:00

Wow, I have been really bad at buckling down on this trilogy. I'm actually a really fast reader, but I think I have a short attention span.

I just finished The Two Towers yesterday, so I can start on The Return of the King today.

LOTR, Day 5

2008-04-11T20:41:00.001-05:00

Almost halfway done with The Two Towers. I'm on Chapter 11 of Book
III, The Palantir.

LOTR, Day 4

2008-04-11T06:55:00.001-05:00

The fever and other things set me back by a ways, but I'm still going strong.

Yesterday I got to "The King of the Golden Hall". This is Chapter 6 of
Book III, or the first book in The Two Towers. I regret having missed
out on such a treasure for such a long time.

Fever Broke Today

2008-04-10T08:28:00.001-05:00

Well, I had two mornings of fever temperatures, and this morning, I
feel great. Of course, we always feel great in comparison to a fever,
so after the fever breaks, everything is just wonderful.

I just know it was a curse from G for giving up coffee.

Out of Town Fever

2008-04-08T15:35:00.001-05:00

Well, It's been a while since I've looked at the Internet.

I was out-of-town over the weekend, so I got the old
no-internet-or-computers depression. Something about computers just
soothes the soul. Do you want to kick butt because your coworkers ate
your cake? Get Halo. Do you suffer from post-natal depression? Play
DOOM. This is a very interesting train of thought, possibly more on
this later...

On Monday I had to run an errand to a neighboring city, and this took
up a large chunk of the day. Busy, busy, busy.

And I got a fever this morning. Yeah, it stinks. I'm currently at a
whopping 101.6 degrees farenheit, and if it wasn't for the fact that I
haven't posted in four days, you can bet I'd be in bed right now.
Actually, that's a capital idea, so I'll see you around.

LOTR, Day 3

2008-04-04T20:55:00.001-05:00

I got to The Breaking of the Fellowship, today. This is the last
chapter of The Fellowship of the Ring. Ugh, so close, and not enough
time.

LOTR, Day 2

2008-04-03T17:21:00.001-05:00

I'm already to Rivendell. I'm on Chapter 1 of Book II.

I just got into the second book of the Fellowship of the Ring, so that
puts me about halfway through the first book in the trilogy. At this
rate, I'm going to take at least a week to finish the whole thing.

LOTR, Day 1

2008-04-02T16:59:00.001-05:00

I found a download of the entire Lord of the Rings on Google. Yeah,
the whole thing in one text file.

So, this marks the first day of my voyage to the Mountain of Doom. So
far, I'm already through the Forward, the Preface, and made it to
Chapter 4 (A Shortcut to Mushrooms) of the Fellowship of the Ring.

By the way, I absolutely love Google. It's a library, an arcade, a
movie theater. Plagiarising the words of Smash Mouth, "It's a holiday
in my head."

Pulp Fiction Script

2008-04-02T16:40:00.001-05:00

Today I read the script to Pulp Fiction, by Quentin Tarantino. Google
it, it's easy to read for free.

Wow, that guy is (or at least was) a genius. That was some good script
writing, and that's not even taking into consideration the acting and
special effects that would go into the movie. I really think he is the
king of dialog. Well, I have a short term memory, but right now he's
the best I can think of.

However, I did notice that some real gemstone bits of the finished
product were not in the script. I think this means that the actors
themselves were responsible for really classing it up. The scripted
speech by Wallace (Ving Rhames) missed the vinegar reference. "Some
think you'll age like wine. If you mean you turn to vinegar, you do.
If you mean it gets better, you don't." I really missed that one in
the script, and I'm glad Ving Rhames nailed the final performance.

Timeline, by Michael Crichton

2008-04-01T13:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I read another book, yes sir bob, and this time it was Timeline.
I suppose it's far overdue, since it's not only a Crichton story, but
there's already a movie out. I know, I feel shamed. I should have read
it before any dust accumulated. This is from the guy that wrote
Jurassic Park, one of my all-time favorite worn out paperbacks.

I was told that the end to Timeline was lame, and this stopped me from
reading it for years. However, I took the plunge yesterday afternoon,
and just got finished. Well, it wasn't that long of a book. It could
have been at least half again as long as it was, and I would have been
thrilled.

(spoilers ahead) Timeline is about a crew of historians that get
blasted back to medieval France through a time machine in New Mexico.
They're on a rescue mission because a professor got lost in time. Back
then, France was not a nice place. People get smacked around and get
hurt. Some of the crew last an entire ten minutes before getting
killed. Some of the action scenes are just pure blurs of literary
goodness.

And it's true, the end was kind of lame. It's like Crichton just woke
up one morning and said, "Aw, let's get this book over with so I can
go do my next project."

(major spoiler) At the very end, the bad guy gets sent back to a nasty
time period. He doesn't know when or where he is, although he's in
some sort of forest. At this point, I just wanted a T-Rex to bite him,
or a gang of velocirapters to run out and get him. C'mon,
velociraptors! Just one raptor! PLEEEEASE! That would have been
freakin' awesome! But, no, it was not that far back in time, just the
time of the Black Death. Oh. Well, that is kinda lame.

Don't Mess with Breakfast

2008-03-31T08:32:00.001-05:00

This morning, I was creating a masterpiece of food, when someone tried
to stop me. The person said, "Stop making the potatos and bacon, there
isn't time. Just make toast."

This person, this morning, has commited a crime against humanity. This
sort of behavior is both evil and un-American. Please, everyone join
with me as I pray for this man's soul.

Read Neuromancer

2008-03-30T18:46:00.001-05:00

Neuromancer has got to be one of the best books ever. I still cannot
believe how relevant it is today, more than two decades after it was
written.

Most sci-fi only makes perfect sense for a few years. Eventually
technology succeeds in ways unplanned, which takes away a lot of the
thrill of sci-fi books. If a story mentions that 100 Gigabytes is a
lot, it is doomed, soon to be as outdated as the computers it talked
about.

Neuromancer is written almost all the way in metaphors and slang. Yes,
metaphors, and slang. By never taking anything literally, the book has
secured its position of being "timeless". Check out this sentence.
This is the first sentence in the book, and it drops you in the middle
of a world that is both bleak and technologically advanced in ways you
can't imagine.

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."

The sky was the color of TV fuzz. In fifteen words to describe the
color of the sky, most of the sentence is spent talking about
technology. This is just great writing, and there aren't many ways to
beat a sci-fi book that starts like this. I can't tell you how many
times I've read this book, but it's more than five. The crown jewel of
William Gibson's career, this story is solid technomagic in action.

Get Rid of Coffee

2008-03-30T15:50:00.001-05:00

On a recommendation from Steve Pavlina, I've decided to stop drinking coffee.

This will most likely be met with a vast amount of geek criticism, but
I've held true almost a week, and I'm pretty sure it's safe to say
that I am not addicted.

I've personally had a few revelations, and I think that Steve would
mostly back me up.

1st revelation: Coffee is a diuretic. If you stop cold-turkey like I
did, and you used to drink five or six cups of coffee daily like I
did, you will notice this severe change to your diet. Like I did.
Simply speaking, a diuretic will speed up your digestive system.
Getting your body used to diuretics will make your digestive system
work normally while you take the diuretics. If you stop taking the
diuretics, your body will cramp up, bad. Basically, transition slowly,
or risk constipation.

2nd revelation: Coffee is a nervous stimulation. Everybody knows this,
hence the popularity of coffee. However the stimulation we so crave
early in the morning is not completely burned out of our systems by
the time we go to bed. This makes time spent sleeping not as
effective, and has been attributed to some particularly grouchy
mornings.

Personal verdict, I feel much healthier. I've gotten over the
constipation (thank G) and feel less tired than when I was a black
coffee guzzler. Place this in the For What it's Worth category.

Tom Clancy, L. E. Modesitt, Jr.

2008-03-30T10:12:00.001-05:00

It's been a while since my last post. I've spent all my free time
reading books, so no web.

I read two fairly old books, Clear and Present Danger by Tom Clancy,
and Magic Engineer by L. E. Modesitt, Jr.

Clear and Present Danger was awesome, even better than the 1994 movie,
IMO. (Spoilers ahead) The death of the FBI Director was much shorter
in the book, and much more effective. The bad dudes fire the anti-tank
missiles, and it is all over. Very sad, very final, no heroics. The
book ending was sadly lame, but realistic. The best part of the book
was when Clark was talking to the bad guys at a road block, Larson is
just about wetting his pants because he's so scared, and two sentences
later all the bad guys are dead. My head was spinning it was so fast,
just like Larson's head would have been spinning. Extremely good
writing, Clancy! I was left thinking, who the heck is this Clark guy?
Holy smokes he's good! A 9 out of 10.

Magic Engineer was pretty good in it's own way. I automatically hate
anyone with three periods and one comma in their name, and L. E.
Modesitt, Jr. takes the cake. (Even worse then J. R. R. Tolkien.)
Magic Engineer is the third book in the Recluce saga, and second one
I've read. Bad move, anyone? Beyond the order and chaos magic rhetoric
is some impressive dialog and well thought-out characters. The good
guy is both a wimp and unbelievably powerful, a combination that would
make any story-teller salivate. A 6 out of 10.

Convicted retard?

2008-03-26T18:42:00.001-05:00

Shouldn't acting like a retard be a felony?
There should be a way of determining how stupid actions are, and a way
to keep track of who did it. I think that if someone does something
really dumb, it should be on par with a misdemeanor. If they do
something that would be appropriate for a person with far, far less
IQ, (their rated IQ - 50) it should be a felony.
That way, when they apply for a job, they have to mark it down. Do you
really want to hire a guy that accidentally burnt down his
grandfather's gardening shed while burning leaves with gasoline?

America the Beautiful

2008-03-23T14:31:00.001-05:00

America is the greatest country in the world, of course.
Today, I walked to the local oil depot (gas station) to get some junk food.
I had to walk about a half mile through a grassy field, and I wasn't
robbed and later executed by Mexican guerrillas. I got to the city
roads, and while I was crossing, African freedom fighters hanging off
the sides of a passing cargo truck did not riddle me with AK-47s. I
got to the station, and while I was there, Palestinians did not blow
it up. I paid for my sealed-in-plastic, sanitary junk food, and the
Chinese Red Guard did not arrest me for being unpatriotic. The walk
home was equally fantastic.
All in all, an excellent country. However, do we really think the rest
of the world is that crummy? It sounds like the ripoff of a bad,
sci-fi, Utopian/Distopian plot-line.

Derrick vs. Steven Part 3

2008-03-22T20:54:00.002-05:00

The driver of the limo tried to stop his vehicle, but the rubber tires burnt black tattoos into the road, and the car smashed into the sudden appearance of Derrick. The limousine's hood crunched into an invisible wall.
The bubble of energy around Derrick proved to be surprisingly resilient, to the pleasant surprise of its occupant.
With trembling fingers, Derrick typed out a hasty set of commands to the computer controlling his energy field.
Several invisible knives sliced through the road around the disabled automobile. With a misstep, part of the rear bumper fell off, and a tire was knifed in half. Derrick winced at the loud pop, but continued with his plan.
In seconds, Derrick, the limo, and a large section of road rose into the sky. They were above the roof-tops of the Detroit apartments when several bodyguards jumped out of Derrick's captured vehicle. They fired pistols at the wacky scientist, but the bullets were as ineffectual at piercing the energy field as the limousine's engine block.
Derrick sent a beam of energy through the middle of the car, and made a bubble around each half. One bubble held the bodyguards and chauffeur, the other held the prize.
Derrick let the unlucky personnel go, gently depositing them on the roof of an unremarkable apartment, and released their energy field.
Then it was just Derrick, half of a limousine sitting on a jagged chunk of asphalt, and one Mr. Steven Vance, trembling on leather upholstery, all floating above the fine city of Detroit.

Derrick vs. Steven Part 2

2008-03-21T13:32:00.002-05:00

Derrick had a monitor strapped to his arm displaying all policed traffic. If Steven's car drove by any intersection, the licence plate would be marked, and show up on the screen. Derrick couldn't hack into the police database, but he did have a low-tech hidden camera watching at a convenient police station, looking over the shoulder of an underpaid officer.
An alarm blipped on Derrick's small terminal. He had found Mr. Vance.
He toggled his joystick, and the generator in his huge backpack fired up even louder.
Derrick was sitting in a bubble of solid energy, high up in the air, generated by technology in his backpack that not even he, the inventor, completely understood.
He directed himself to the correct street, saw the Coolex limousine, and zipped down to street level.
He clumsily stopped about a foot too low, and the bubble under his feet crushed the asphalt. A ripple of dust and chunks of road went flying in every direction.
Derrick had landed right in front of the oncoming limousine.

Derrick vs. Steven Part 1

2008-03-21T09:31:00.002-05:00

The sunset was a colorful, diesel stain on the western sky. The city of Detroit lay in a capitalist, greedy sprawl below Derrick's feet. Somewhere down there, was Steven Vance, the man with the knowledge of Coolex's business plans, corporate takeovers, and most importantly, personnel.
Coolex had the population, resources, security and land holdings of a small country. Spread out across the face of the world, of course, like any self respecting, megalomaniacal company. Mr. Vance was one of their top lawyers, and he would probably know what Derrick needed.
With a corporation the size of Coolex, it was best to start hacking at the top.

Clarence Day, Jr. wrote the Best Essay Ever

2008-03-20T14:41:00.002-05:00

The world of books is the most remarkable creation of man. Nothing else that he builds ever lasts. Monuments fall, nations perish, civilizations grow old and die out; and, after an era of darkness, new races build others. But in the world of books are volumes that have seen this happen again and again, and yet live on, still young, still as fresh as the day they were written, still telling men's hearts of the hearts of men centuries dead.

Warcrack is a Digital Drug

2008-03-20T11:18:00.001-05:00

There is only one reason that Warcraft is the most addictive game on the Internet.

Yes, it is addictive. It is giving teenagers a chance to play with other gamers around the world, and it is destroying their parent's hopes of them ever being Medical Doctors. It is so addictive, 40% of the nine million plus players are completely obsessed, clinically "hooked". The buzzword is"World of Warcrack". It is the epitome of a digital drug.

The reason it is addictive is not because of the character upgrades. If you want a new breastplate, go play Diablo or Icewind Dale. It is not because of the real player interaction. IRC has been around for a very long time, and while there are undoubtedly exceptions, I don't know anyone who is addicted to that. Chatting and playing around with friends can be done anywhere. The graphics aren't that inspiring, and the game runs on years-old technology.

No, the reason it is addictive is its culture. Culture is what every other MMORPG (so far) has lacked, and WOW has tons of it. It has more culture than the city of Lincoln, Nebraska and the entire state of Alabama combined. You want to get immersed in politics? Do you hate the oppression of the weak? Do you want to do something to help your country? Do you want to rid the world of prejudice and evil?

You can be a part of causes like these and more for only $19.95. (Or an additional twenty bucks for the expansion, and a hundred dollars a year for the subscription. This is for you AND per friend you want to play with. This is also, of course, excluding the $50 expansion coming out later this year.) Blizzard has found a legal way to tap addiction, and this venture is possibly more lucrative than the 60's cocaine.

Goodbye Clarke

2008-03-20T09:47:00.002-05:00

Arthur C. Clarke died early yesterday in Sri Lanka. Any warm blooded American with respect to popular culture will miss him dearly.

He was a man that was certainly space headed, and had an imagination that kept on running. He gave us the Space Odyssey, a collection of work that started in the 70's, and was just barely completed in the same century, the last book being published in 1997.

He invented, or at least was the first to popularize the idea of the space elevator. He envisioned that the elevator(s) would destroy NASA's shuttle program, and would really open up space for the human race. I personally hope that I will see an operating elevator in my day, something Clarke dreamed of as well.

May he be immortalized through his written words.

A Human's Prayer

2008-03-19T21:08:00.001-05:00

I was born in Azeroth, the land of the holy ways. I was taught the light. I was taught the truth. I was taught devotion to the king. I will defend the land of the pure. From Northshire to Goldshire, from Lakeshire to Darkshire. I will protect the weak and the helpless.

I will lend any aid inasmuch as I am able to the land of the Allies. I will defend the land of the dwarves, from the stronghold Ironforge to the hinterlands to the burning steppes. I will defend the land of the elves, from the tree of Teldrassil to the mountains of Winterspring.

I will defend the mighty city of Stormwind, and serve in the bastion Theramore. I am strong. I am mighty. I withstood the horde, the scourge, and the worst of Illidan's rage. I await the king. I will never lose faith.

My Broken Heart

2008-03-19T15:01:00.001-05:00

Last week I lost my brother. He did not die, but he pretty much moved away for the rest of life. I feel like I've lost a chamber in my heart.

Next weekend, my best friend is moving away as well. It will really feel like severing my left hand. He was someone I didn't always need, but could always count on for any help. Another chamber has broken.

Now I know why we evolved into using the four-chambered heart. It's to keep us going until the other chambers can heal.

Adios, I'll love you both forever.

I'm not nice.

2008-03-19T13:10:00.001-05:00

Some of my friends said that the word "nice" is not in my dictionary. This, of course, is absurd. Nice is an antonym. My dictionary definition would not be complete without it.

Seriously, how could I thoroughly describe myself without explaining what I am not?

Think about it.

TV is the Modern-Day Colosseum

2007-10-17T08:53:00.000-05:00

While it is true that we now don’t do some of the horrible things the Romans used to do, we still, as a human race, haven’t improved very much.

Anyone who wants a glimpse of the barbaric things the Romans did, just hop down to BlockBuster and pick up Gladiator, starring Russell Crowe and directed by Ron Howard. Some historian buffs I personally know cringe at the Hollywood liberties taken on an almost historical movie, but it still depicts ancient Roman life fairly well. Plus, it’s an awesome movie.

But anyway, the point is that we really haven’t evolved very much since then.

The movie Gladiator depicts a world where Roman citizens pay the government for tickets to games held at the awesome, carved of stone, Colosseum. This is an enormous (in ancient standards) stadium where gladiators fight and kill one another for the enjoyment of the watching populace.

This usually comes across as a pretty sick practice, in the eyes of an average modern-day homosapien.

But we still go to stadiums to watch feats of physical prowess. People still beat each other bloody for the enjoyment of the masses. Hockey, boxing, football, and wrestling are all really good examples of this.

I’m usually told at this point that nobody is supposed to actually die at these events, and when it does happen, it shocks and saddens us. This is what makes us civilized.

That is true to a point, but when was the last time you saw a Hollywood action movie that showed less than ten deaths? How many without showing a single death in vivid detail?

This clever application of fake blood and CGI effects is what makes us civilized, and the Romans barbaric.

We may be perhaps less murderous than our Latin ancestors, but we have in no way lost our taste for a good, bloody show.

Vulcan's Lament

2007-10-16T14:26:00.000-05:00

I marvel at the mortal inability to remember. It is hard for a God to comprehend death, and the frailties involved. Men take all of their memories to Pluto, leaving sons with but memories of conversations. I recall forging the molten core of the world as vividly and vibrantly as the flame of yesterday’s sunset.

It is because of this, I suppose, that mankind has such trouble retaining the faith of the old days. In man’s attempts to discover the facts of science, they forget the faith of the Gods. The petty knowledge man has gleamed has made them think they no longer need faith, and even the faith of the most faithful man today is eroded and cankered by what they call science.

I used to blow the furnaces of Rome with blistering heat, and now they stand cold, and ruined.

I melted the metal for a million swords, and am now replaced by the inventions of man’s own mind.

I kept volcanoes from destroying mankind, now let them do what they will, taking no hand in the randomness of nature.

I, who was praised and worshiped at the Volcanal by thousands every year, am now scorned and almost completely forgotten.

I have the power to blast man to the farthest star, and yet, their mightiest efforts using their own feeble knowledge can barely put a man on the moon.

It seems that the miracles of my sibling Gods are no longer needed by the greatness of man’s arrogance.